The Great Relena Destroyer
by Robster80
Summary: This is a fic by Rei Hiko/Princess Mimi, whom has asked me to post it for her. Relena-lovers, STAY OUT OF THIS FIC!!!!


THE GREAT RELENA DESTROYER  
  
  
WARNING: do not read if you like Relena MAJOR RELENA BASHING!!!! u have  
been warned.  
  
  
Part 1  
  
  
by Rei Hino aka PrincessMars  
  
  
  
  
The year is 198 AC, we all know and its peaceful at last (peace girlfriend!)  
and what happens to the handsome....hunky.... super  
cool..... strong...... sweet(hehe)...... wonderful.... marvelous..... Heero Yuy?   
  
Well he moved into an apartment in Japan where the rent was cheap and spent  
most of his days watching TV and spending time on the Internet. Yep, life sure  
was boring and life was even worse whenever Relena stalked him. Today, Heero  
was bored to death and was munching on carrot sticks and lazing around on his  
special couch when.... KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
Heero got up, startled by the racket. He took out his famous gun from his  
spandex shorts. He crept to the door and peered at the hole to see who that  
person was. Sure enough there stood Relena Darlian/Peacecraft once the Queen  
of the World outside of his door holding a bouquet of flowers.  
  
"Damn doesn't that girl ever give up?" he thought. He opened the door by a  
tiny creak."Hi Heero-chan!" said Relena in a cheerful go lucky voice.  
  
"Whose Heero? I don't know a Heero. You got the wrong house lady," said Heero in a  
low voice.  
  
"Don't be silly Heero," said Relena and she opened the door and 'invited'  
herself in. "Ok, Ok," said Heero in dismay. "I give up! What do you want,  
Relena?"  
  
"Here!" said Relena as she thrust the flowers into the 'Perfect Soilder's'  
chest. "Uhh... arigato... Relena," said Heero as he secretly threw the flowers  
in a nearby waste basket.  
  
"Nice place you got here," said Relena as she 'invited' herself to sit down  
on Heero's special couch. Inside she was thinking, "This place is a dump!  
When was the last time he cleaned up this place..."  
  
"Ok, thanks for stopping by Relena, now bye-bye!!" Heero said opening the door  
so Relena could leave. "Awww, you want me to leave already?"   
  
"Yes so go on off you go!"  
  
"But I want to stay."  
  
"Go."  
  
"Stay."  
  
"Go."  
  
"Stay."  
  
"I give up!" said Heero as he shut the door and sat next to it...just in  
case.  
  
"Why don't you sit on the couch with me?" asked Relena (a perfect place to  
have a lime scene)  
  
"No thank you," Heero is too smart to fool he knows what's going on in  
Relena's messed up mind.  
  
"Welll anyway I was wondering do you have a..... date yet?" she asked  
with a huge smile plastered on her face.  
  
Heero seemed shocked by the question. "No."  
  
"That's so radical! Me too!" said Relena joyfully.  
  
"and you're point is?"  
  
"Will you go out with me?" she asked with big sparkly puppy dog eyes.  
  
".............."  
  
"please"  
  
"no"  
  
"please"  
  
"no"  
  
"I'll pay for everything."  
  
"no"  
  
"Heero"  
  
"no"  
  
"come on"  
  
"no"  
  
"Heero you are so mean!!"  
  
With that Relena ran out of his apartment leaving Heero squished behind the  
door. "oww.." he groaned.  
  
later that night...  
  
Heero opened his most precious thing in the entire world (besides his lap  
top) his booklet containing a million ways to kill Relena. He would have  
killed her earlier but he wanted her to die.... a slow suffering death. He had  
so many he didn't know what to choose!  
  
On 1,987 he wrote down: Stuff flowers down her throat  
  
"Not bad," thought Heero. "It'd be great if roses were stuffed down her  
throat so she can choke on the thorns and her neck will bleed and...hehehee."  
  
1,988: Poison her tea  
  
1,989: Bomb her house  
  
1,990: dye her hair green  
  
So many ways...so little time to kill Relena..... Heero the Great Relena  
Destroyer must strike!!! Tomorrow he shall proceed his plans to kill Relena,  
tommorow Relena shall  
die....heheheheheheheheheheheheehehehe..........MOOOOOOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*evil laughter can be heard down the streets and people are throwing shoes at  
his window telling him to shut up*  
  
Princess Mimi: I'm innocent!  
  
Relena: YOU!!!!!!!!!*chokes Mimi* HEERO LOVES ME! HE WOULD NEVER TRY TO KILL  
ME!!!!  
  
Princess Mimi:*gasping for air* HEERO IS MINE! HE LOVES ME NOT YOU!!!!!  
*starts beating each other up*  
  
Quatre: Please ignore these retarded people it seems like Mimi hasn't taken  
her hyper pills and I'm very sorry for the inconvience please excuse...  
  
*Relena and Mimi grabs hold of Quatre's hair*  
  
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
please send me a e mail saying if I should continue or not  
  
*continues beating up Relena*  
  
  
NOTICE: A reminder to you guys that I, Robster80, did NOT write this fic!  



End file.
